So I remember how it started very well as usually do music for a living, but because everything was closed down during the pandemic I had to go back to construction work.

I had my 1st vaccine in March 2021 and felt something was up straight away, as I felt sick all the time, like I was seasick.  I didn’t connect it to the vaccine straight away, however it happened immediately after receiving it.   At that time I was in a manually heavy job and one day I felt so ill, a strange type of ill, so bad that had to go home because I felt like if I kept going that day I might keel over and not get back up; it was quite scary .


A week later I was on the roof helping the joiner and we were having a discussion and my memory just vanished mid-sentence, but it was bizarre, like I had dementia.  I used to say it was like I was driving on a road and the road just vanished beneath me, a bit like the odd time you wake up and have no idea where you are who you are, kind of like your brains offline, when you’ve not fully woke up yet – such a weird feeling.

This happened more and more to the point I could barely hold a conversation.  I was forgetting my place every sentence, and my partner said “Something is really not right with you;  you had better speak to the doctor. She was really worried.  Then I was forgetting simple words – it was like they just vanished from my vocabulary.

I went to the doctor, and he said it was bizarre and thought it could be MS or early dementia.   As time went on, I got my second vaccine. Then shortly afterwards I went to the gym and was typing my code in at the door and it was like my hand was drunk and I lost control of it; the signal going from my brain to my hand was not working, it was terrifying .

Shortly afterwards, my right eye started watering and I had a strange sensation down one side of my body on the same side as the eye and it was like someone was squeezing the right hand side of my body.  It went numb like I was having a stroke.  I started losing balance too.

Something very serious was happening to me. It was like my brain was a computer processor and there was something going on to cause it to slow right down and it was frozen and overloaded with hardly any stimulus

When I saw the neurologists all the tests were coming back normal. I was told I must be depressed, and it was FND.I knew this wasn’t the case – I could tell something had drastically upset my brain and this was nonsense

I happened to see Guillen Barre mentioned online and it seemed identical to what I was experiencing. My letter came in for the booster so I typed in post vaccine neurological issues into a google search and the BBC website had information on it.  It said the odds of it happening were 1 in 10 million. I thought those odds seem very low, but when I read the wording of what was happening to people, it was WORD FOR WORD what I had been experiencing.

There are now links to Guillen Barre like symptoms in people with autoimmune issues popping up all over the place, but they say that these are very rare and the vaccine is still safe. Now I know that its nowhere near as rare as they are making out. I always said to my mum, something had sent my immune system bananas – my immune system is attacking me; I just know it. Then there it was in the article, described word for word as I had experienced it, and the mechanism that drives it too is as I suspected, as they described your immune system attacks you.  It was uncanny .

 At Christmas 2022, it was so bad I couldn’t add simple numbers. I was on a job and couldn’t add 7+6.   This was one of the lowest points of my life.  I really didn’t want to go on.  I was devastated that my brain was failing me

But something inside me to me to keep hope.  I had read that the longer the time passed from when you had the vaccine, you can get lucky and your system can start to recover, and slowly but surely it gradually loosened its grip.

At the time doctors wouldn’t believe me that it was the vaccine and so far, I have been unable to get a proper exemption letter, which I might need to travel for my music. They were putting down to stress anxiety, it was pretty offensive TBH and I know this was nothing to do with stress because at the time when I was getting better my life was far more stressful but yet I was recovering, so If it was stress, I would be MORE ill!

When I told one neurologist what I suspected and described the article word for word, as well as telling him the time line , he said you’re probably right, but !!! what one did you get ah the Astra Zenica ? , why not just get the Pfizer then. I was furious, after what I went through ?? why on earth would you think it’s worth this risk. I found that absolutely baffling. And to add to the fact I had covid 2 times after my vaccine and it was a mild cold at best, so why on earth would you ask me to take something that near killed me? That really struck me as reckless and nonsensical considering what had happened.

Now today I am very lucky in a way that I am back training just now and have my life back, but not fully the way I was before. The best way I could describe my recovery is that, as time went on, the thing that was gripping me down that side of my body gradually let go. But to this day If I am tired or run down, I can still feel like something has a light grip on my right side.  I can feel it creep back in. I find if my brain is under a lot of pressure, tired or if I have done too much, things can quickly go back to how they were before.  Not as severe, but it’s not gone. It’s like my brain has figured out a way round it and has adapted but not fully recovered, and it shows if i am under too much strain physically

That year i got the vaccine I was rushed in hospital constantly. I have never been so ill it was terrifying. I suspected a stroke, brain bleed or MS. I was falling apart but the baffling thing was that all the tests always came back normal. It was the most horrific period of my life to date. But once I saw the article and tied back the dates, I was horrified. Now we know back Information was being controlled, and still is now but not as badly,

 I was so lucky that I found that article, as I only looked it up as I was getting chased for my booster.  It really scares me to think what might have happened to me otherwise. There is so much information out there, so many people this is happening to, but they are being labelled as misinformation.  Now that I see these stories popping up more and more, it really haunts me, just how identical they are to mine. 

2021 was the worst year of my life.  My symptoms were so horrific I didn’t feel like me anymore.  Now I am so angry that we were all told this is safe and effective.  Now I know neither is true.