It has taken me ages to get around to writing my story because so much is involved in trying to think about how to write it, all of the things that I want and need to say and get across, the things that have happened to me.   

Before all this, I climbed Munro’s, I ran half marathons, I went to the gym even after a 12 hour shift at work. Little did I know how my life would change.

I didn’t even really think about vaccine injury until I started eventually making a link between my symptoms and the Covid19 vaccine.

My vaccines were all given in my left arm, which is where all my issues are. But first, a bit about me.

Before I caught covid October 2020, I did suffer with CFS, but I managed that well, was working full time as a midwife. I was able to do 12 hour shifts, both days and nights,  I trained 4 days a week, sometimes after my shifts,  I walked up Munros, I was an avid runner, and also I had my three grown up kids and my little granddaughter in my life who was just turning two.

I caught covid at work – my infection was relatively mild with some breathing issues (never hospitalised) but I did end up with CP (unknown). 

I recovered from Covid pretty quickly and returned to work but I was plagued horrific fatigue, which I tried to manage like my CFS – by pacing, but it never worked.

I got my first vaccine at work on 16th Jan 2021 few months after having Covid.   I went downhill pretty quickly.  My fatigue accelerated, I had a fever again, felt flu like, suffered from breathlessness, and palpitations.   I was being investigated for these. Chest Xrays, Echo etc had been done but everything was coming back normal.  I tried a phased return to work on the 22/02/21, cancelling more shifts than I worked, then I was booked in again for my 2nd vaccine on 20/03/21.

I recovered from Covid pretty quickly and returned to work but I was plagued horrific fatigue, which I tried to manage like my CFS – by pacing, but it never worked.

That signalled the end of my phased return!  I was experiencing horrific fatigue.

Another phased return was organised for 27/04/21 – to full 12 hour shifts (I couldn’t walk the length of me!) however, I did manage.  I managed my symptoms as they arose.   I had multiple issues, mainly fatigue, tinnitus, palpitations, weakness to one side, breathlessness, etc. my bloods kept showing I was low ferritin, low calcium and bicarbonate. I remained in work, managing my shifts until my next Vaccine on 29/09/21.  Following this Vaccine, I was in work and I took an acute attack and collapsed shortly after delivering a baby, ended up in A&E, then admitted with severely low phosphate levels in my blood. I was on a 24 hour phosphate infusion.  I got discharged home on phosphate and calcium tablets. I had issues also with my menstrual cycle, I still didn’t make any connections to my symptoms and the covid vaccine!

I was off work again, and tried to return on the 9/11/21 – desperate to try and ease my symptoms and regain normality.  I started HBOT treatment on the 30/11/21 – this helped with symptoms a little.

On the 12/02/22 – I suffered what I could only explain as a thunderclap headache, really photophobic, and horrific left sided rib pain, which rendered me almost unable to take a breath.  This was very transient but traumatising.  I stayed in bed, thinking it was a migraine, but noticed when I was trying to get up to walk, I was so weak, mainly on my left side.   I struggled, back off work again, crawling to the toilet on my hands and knees, then on the 18/02/22 I took a tumble down all of my stairs at home, and realised I had then developed a really bad tremor! Convinced I now had something like MS, I frantically tried to get an app with my GP. Unable too, I paid private and saw Dr Tyagi neurologist in Glasgow on the 24/02/22.  He diagnosed me with FND, noted weakness on left side.  I started seeing a counsellor on 3/03/22, trying to process what was happening to me, who was I?! I was still off my work, in a wheelchair as I couldn’t walk with this tremor, trying everything, KCR, hypnosis, acupuncture, vitamins, tablets from GP for pain, the pain that rips through my body! Omg!

I was trying to manage my symptoms, I was on and off my pill, trying to control my bleeding and symptoms there.

I joined a Nuffield programme to help with Long Covid on the 13/06/22 – this was a joke.  They had no idea about PEM! It was a failure before I even started! You cannot exercise out of this nightmare, believe me, I tried!! I was part of a Covid clinic too – a multi disciplinary team made up of physios, and other drs.  Again, all relatively new and didn’t have a clue what they were dealing with either.

As the months went on, I gradually grew stronger but really was just managing my symptoms and I did try and return to work on the 26/09/22 to a different area of maternity, answering phones and no clinical work.

I decided this time rather than get my flu and my covid vaccine together like I did every other time, I got them separate. I got my flu vaccine on 31/10/22 and my covid vaccine on the 14/11/22 (yes I know I did it again!!) and true to form, I was floored once again, this time it attacked my GI system! And my bloods went off again, my platelets went really high, and I was constantly having loose stool, everything I ate went through me, I had lots of accult blood in my . So I was referred for acolonoscopy, and gastroscopy! I managed to get myself back to work, got my colonoscopy on 31/01/23 started then getting UTI’s! Everytime I would get one, I’d go down! The tremor would return and was back on and off my crutches and ended up back off work again on 18/02/23.  

At the end of March 23 I returned to work,  my marriage of 17 years broke down and husband moved out (my choice) then I got a shingles infection following another UTI.  On 11/05/23 I was off work again until 05/06/23 – still back and forth to Dr, pain management, nerve pain, neuro issues, tingling on left side etc, now reluctantly started on antidepressants (vertioxetine) . I’m on gabapentin, and bisoprolol to try and sort my racing heart, and help with my tremor, walking with crutches, and had to further reduce my hours at work again.  And I am now down to just two shifts a week, from full time.

I’m still so lost, so broken, I am grieving, I always will. There are days when I get up and wish I wasn’t here! But need to be grateful that I am, I am still healthy ish, I’m just not me, the Mags that I knew, is gone.